DSC_3610Two bird feeders hang about three feet away from my office window. Most of the time I get to watch a lovely congregation of cardinals, flickers and jays come and go from dawn to dusk. Occasionally that peaceful scene is interrupted by a gray squirrel, at which point I slowly open my window, take aim, and zap him with my vinegar-and-cayenne-laced water pistol. Animal lovers relax, my aim is lousy, and I rarely hit him, but the smell keeps him away for at least a week.

Oh, would that there would be a similar cure for spam pitches, because their frequency and intrusiveness is twice as bad as any squirrel.

During the run up to the most recent NH Presidential Primary I got a ridiculous number of emails offering an “exclusive interview” with some expert or other.  None of them had anything whatsoever to do with communications measurement, but I gave the spammers a pass since I’ve been an elected official in New Hampshire, tweet a lot and I can sort of understand how my name might have popped up in someone’s “influencer marketing” tool if they were looking for outspoken New Hampshire business people who write blogs and have a Twitter account.

For the record going forward, I am not a fashionista, I could care less about makeup, I only pay attention to data that I can personally verify is at least close to true, I am a knee-jerk liberal and if I didn’t answer my phone last month it was because I was out canvassing for Hillary. Which is why I did not express interest in your offer to arrange special interviews with your CEO who is an expert on: (pick one) fashion, makeup, republican candidates, or pretty but erroneous data visualization.

But today’s bad pitch was different. It actually scared me because unlike the squirrels it reveals a species getting smarter, no doubt due to the increasing size and computing power of the people selling media lists.

As you can see by the opening sentence, I might assume that my very good friend and alleged fan, Ron Peer, has actually read my blog: 2vrBut of course, once you get into the content , you’ll see that friend Ron has somehow confused my interest in PR Measurement for VR goggles. Perhaps it’s because I write about Google Analytics and their automated intelligence can’t tell the difference between goggles and Google. Or maybe it’s those often confused terms “VR” and “PR”.  For whatever reason, Ron and the good folks at Stimuli seem to think I would care. I don’t. But I do care to know who sold you my name. I’d  like to track them down and zap them.

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