Well, we’ve survived another year, here on Shankhassick Farm. I hope you’ll agree with my self-assessment that, while I’ve been a bit naughty with my measurement menaces and critiques of some of the industry maneuvers this year, I’ve been a pretty good girl overall.
I helped some major organizations implement standards-compliant metrics. That means hundreds of thousands of dollars that can now be diverted to better use – like for getting you an upgrade on your sleigh, perhaps. Or better antihistamines for that poor red-nosed reindeer of yours. We know you’d prefer brandy and caviar on the mantle, instead the usual milk and cookies.
And, as long as I’m sweet talking you, Santa, thank you so very much for your past remarkable effectiveness at fulfilling most of my wishes:
- For years I’ve been asking for an integrated dashboard platform that can combine social and traditional media analysts with web and social analytics as well as survey data – and I now have one, thanks to Doug Chapin. (For more information, see my advisory services.)
- In 2009 I asked for a single accurate and comprehensive source of content. It took a while but I have one now thanks to CyberAlert. (It helps that some of my former employees are there now so I know I can trust the content.)
- In 2010 I asked for better sentiment analysis tools and more effective filters for social listening. Today, thanks to NetBase, I can get 88% accuracy and clean up a search string in minutes instead of days.
As I always say, “You’re never wrong, you’re just early.”
So Santa, this is what the Measurement Queen humbly requests for Christmas 2014:
- 1000 organizations pledging.
…to support measurement standards and the Barcelona Principles. And, while they’re at it, to refuse to hire vendors or agencies that have not pledged. I think, Santa, you’ll agree that all the hot air around standards is contributing to what’s melting your homestead. Unless we start putting sanctions in place to force change, all the standards talk will just produce more hot air.
- At least one agency hired and one VP promoted.
…for refusing to use AVEs.
- A magic mist that you could put into the air ducts of all corporations.
…that would dissolve the walls and silos that make people territorial about their data and stop them from sharing information.
- A bad data detector.
If TSA can detect infinitesimal amounts of whatever it is they are looking for, then why can’t we have a BS detector for every conference room and conference call that would go off whenever AVEs and other suspect data are discussed?
- Mandated business proficiency tests.
…for all PR and social media practitioners. The test would be administered along with background and reference checks before any employee joins a PR team. The test would gauge their understanding of ROI, SMART objectives, and other commonly used business principles.
- Eradication of all reports that justify a program.
…rather than measure impact and outcome on business results.
- Make it as easy to measure results as it is to share content.
The problem is, Santa, that it’s way too easy to generate and share stuff, thanks to platforms like Buffer and Hoot Suite and Sprout Social, etc. What we need is a way to get a handle on what that stuff is actually doing to help a business or organization.
- A way to automatically separate consumer comments from investor comments.
Boy, do they have different views of the world. While both may be useful in their own ways, the two together make no sense.
- A way to integrate the sexy new influence mapping tools into my measurement dashboards.
- A client cloning device.
I’ve had the privilege of working with some amazing clients in the last year. People who are incredibly smart, kind, visionary, and truly “get measurement.” Santa can you make some more of those, please? ∞
Thanks to PianetaMamma.it for the image.
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